Cognitive theorists are very clear on one point; anxiety shuts down our thinking.
When individuals feel highly anxious they become vigilant and preoccupied with possible dangers in their environment. The dangers do not have to be physical ones of death or bodily harm. Interpersonal harm: loss, abandonment, shame or even the fear of guilt can pull our thoughts into excessively rigid, repetitive patterns. The world becomes small and dull. Its teeming possibilities seem to reduce themselves down to few or none. In extreme cases, suicide may even appear to be the single possible solution.
So what can open up the world again?
As any loving parent knows, children are typically the most creative, flexible and open to possibilities in situations where they feel safe and accompanied. Even as adults we are at our most adventurous in non-punitive environments where our curiosity and tentative exploration is tolerated and appreciated. We speak our thoughts and feelings most freely and self-expressively into a receptive room.
Anxious adults trying psychotherapy may initially feel even more anxious as they find themselves in an unaccustomed situation, sitting across from a total stranger; but with the quiet support and receptivity of the therapist, they eventually discover that it is safe to speak and explore even their darkest thoughts and feelings. For some people this is a unique experience, the first time or only place where this full expression is possible.
When we dare, in the company of a sympathetic other, to bravely and curiously explore the full possibilities of our ideas again, the constraints that anxiety has put on our thoughts are loosened and our world can expand again to include the many possible futures that we deserve.
